Having kids now vs 20 years ago

on Thu Jun 13 2024 00:00:00 GMT-0700 (Pacific Daylight Time)

with Darren W Pulsipher, Paige Pulsipher,

Darren and Paige have 4 grandkids. 8, 5, 3 and 6 months. They are so fun to be around and it is so fun to see our kids be parents. They were just talking about how so much has changed since they had babies. From childbirth, what to feed your babies, how to raise them, parent involvement etc.. Let’s explore the differences and see if these differences are for the better or ….


#parenting #current #events #grandparenting #babytech #parentalleave #bondingleave

Medical Advances

Prenatal Care and Screening:

  • Then: Limited prenatal screening options; basic ultrasound and some genetic tests.

  • Now: Comprehensive prenatal screenings, including non-invasive prenatal testing (NIPT) for genetic conditions,

    3D/4D ultrasounds, and detailed anomaly scans.

Fertility Treatments:

  • Then: Basic fertility treatments like IVF were available but less refined.

  • Now: Advanced reproductive technologies, including improved IVF techniques, egg freezing, and genetic screening of


Birth Practices:

  • Then: More routine use of episiotomies, less emphasis on natural birth, 1 in 20 births were c section

  • Now: Greater emphasis on natural and personalized birth plans, midwifery, and doulas; increased options for pain

    management and labor support.1 in 5 births are c section.


Information Access:

  • Then: Reliance on books, limited internet resources, and advice from family and friends.

  • Now: Extensive online resources, parenting apps, telemedicine consultations, and virtual support groups.

Monitoring and Gadgets:

  • Then: Basic baby monitors, fewer technological aids.

  • Now: Smart baby monitors with video and health tracking features, wearable devices for babies, and smart nursery


Societal and Cultural Changes

Parental Leave:

  • Then: Shorter and less comprehensive parental leave policies in many places.

  • Now: Improved parental leave policies in many regions, with some countries offering extended and paid leave for

    both parents.

Work-Life Balance:

  • Then: More traditional roles with often one parent staying at home.

  • Now: Increased focus on work-life balance, remote working options, and more fathers taking active roles in


Parenting Styles:

  • Then: More authoritative and traditional parenting styles.

  • Now: Emphasis on gentle parenting, attachment parenting, and positive discipline.

Health and Safety:

  • Then: Basic safety guidelines and fewer regulations.

  • Now: Stringent safety standards for baby products, awareness of safe sleep practices (e.g., back-to-sleep campaign),

    and more focus on mental health.

Financial and Economic Factors

Cost of Raising a Child:

  • Then: Lower overall costs, but fewer resources to manage expenses.

  • Now: Higher costs associated with childcare, education, and healthcare, but more financial planning tools and resources.

Economic Conditions:

  • Then: Different economic pressures, often influenced by regional economic stability.

  • Now: Current economic challenges, such as housing costs and student loan debts, affect family planning decisions.

These differences highlight the evolution in healthcare, technology, societal norms, and economic conditions that impact the experience of having and raising a child today compared to 20 years ago.

Lemonade moment of the week:

David is gone we miss him. But he is working hard trying to become a state lifeguard.


Podcast Transcript



Paige, are you trying to tell our audiencesomething?


Or are you trying to tell me something?

I'm traveling right now,so we're doing this podcast remote.

So is there news?

It's not April Fools Day again, is it?


That ship has sailed.

The baby making ship has sailed.

Long ago.

Well, I just have to firsttell our audience about the April Fool'sjoke that you played on me.

I was out of town.

It was probably the second yearwe were married.

Yeah, something like that. Yeah.

She found a picture on the Internetof a positive pregnancy teston the same color countertopsas our countertops in the kitchen.

And she sent that to me.

That was hilarious.

Not really.

It was a little bit funny.

It was a tiny bit.

Tiny bit funny.

So why So you were so white?


Why did our research department, a.k.a.you come up with this topic today?

You know, we've been talking.

Well, we just got finishedspending a week with our grandkids,with three of our grandkids.

We have four grandkids.

Our daughter Rachel has three of them.

And then our son Jacob has has one.

So we just finishedspending a week with our grandkids.

And then we've been talking to our son

Jacob about his babyseveral times this week.

And I just startedthink every time, you know,they mentioned somethingabout raising kidsor I see some new technology that they'reusing to, you know, with their babies.

It just I don't know,

I just started thinking abouthow things have really changedsince we had since had.

Everythingfrom when to introduce certain foodsto getting them to sleep at night.

I mean, everything's changedsince we were.

And no reason really changed for us.

Becauseif I have aand this is really aging me right now,

I have a 35 year old daughter.

How is that possible? I don't know.

You don't look a day over 39.

I know. Right? I mean, seriously.

So I have a 35 year oldand then I have my youngest.

My youngest biological child is 18.

So I have a very large gap there.

And so from the from my first baby to now.my goodness.

Nine day from Samfrom 18 years agoto now is still night and day.

Do you mean likeso? Yeah.

From 35 years ago.

Wow. And from eight years ago. Wow.

So yeah, it's changed.

And I just thought it would be funfor us to talk about the differences.

And it's not really whether it's betteror worse.

It's just different.

And you and I have been talking a lotabout that lately.

About. Yeah.

This new generation of kidscoming up into adulthood.

It's just different.

And we it's hard for us to wrap our headsaround that.

It's so different.

But it is and it's not it'snot just advances in medicine, it'ssociety advances in technologyand just they'reeverything's changed about raising kidsvery different than when we had kidsand raise kids so many years ago.

I mean, 17, almost 18 for me, right? Yeah.

Well And how old?

See how old? Your oldest?

So, you know, we're very similar, right?

Our age gap is is very almost more so.

Yeah, I just had sixso I spread mine across.

There is a six year gap.

You had a 12 year gap.

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All right, So, hey, let's try it.

Let's dive in.

Let's dive into this,because you did some research,you and you didnot do with Google this time.

Look at me.

I'm so advanced.

I sat down to, like,look for some articles and I went, Well,before I look for some articles,let me see what Egypt has to say.

And did a good job.

It had a lot to say and I was like,

Good for you.

This is hilariousbecause I'm actually out of town.

Speaking at a conference in Ohioto the statelegislature about generative AIand my wife is using itto help produce our podcast.

So I think that's funny.a twofer on this one.

I can talk about it now.

All right.

Hey, let'slet's dive into medical advances first.

So what what did you find out aroundmedical advances?

So it was saying that,you know, then meaning I asked you,

Djibouti, to go back 20 years.

So when it sayswhen I say, then it means 20 years ago.

So it said thenprenatal care and screening was limited,basic ultrasound and some genetic test.

Now, when I had Amanda 35 years ago,you did not get an ultrasoundunless they thought there wassomething wrong with your pregnancy.

There was no ultrasound.

Right. You could pay for one.

Yeah, well, we couldn't.

Know I could neither.

I couldn't either.

Luckily, with Matthew, my oldest,there was somethey needed to check him out,so we found out it was a boy.

Right. gotcha. Yeah. So. Yeah.

So now,in today's world,there's all kinds of prenatal screening.

There is.

There's several ultrasounds,there's 3D, 4D ultrasound.

I mean, it's crazy.

The the detailed anatomythat you can see on these babies.

Remember when we usedto get our ultrasounds and they're like,

Look, there's your baby.

And you're like, No, I don't see anythinglike that blob right there.

That's your baby.

Yeah. Like, I don't see anything.

You know,that's that's funny because it changedfrom the time that we had Matthewto the time we had Jacob,which is only four or five years,when now ultrasounds were common,it changed that quickly to knowyou can't have it too.

Everyone got an ultrasound and they evengot to bring home the videotape of it.

Do you remember that?yeah, we did that.

We never got a videotapebecause you had to pay for a videotape.

So we actually never got a videotape.

But yeah, by the time I had Sam,which was eight years ago,an ultrasound was par for the course.

Not extra.

Well,especially you were a little bit older.

So they were going to check more things.


Yeah, I was I was actually considereda geriatric pregnancythat my older kids are over 35.

Yeah, I was 35. Isn't that funny?

When they talk about pregnancies,anything over 35 is geriatric.

Yep. Yep. Isn't that funny?

That is funny.

That's still today.

That's still is the term they use.

Yep. Yeah. That's not a pretty work.

That's not a pre term.

Let's think of something better, guys.

Come on. We can do.

We can do better.

I can do better than that.

Well, I remember when ultrasoundyou could go to the malland get an ultrasound, a 3-D ultrasound.

I remember when they first came out.

So it's so.

But now.

Yeah, now.

All right.

So that's prenatal care and screening.

They're doing genetic testsmore often now.

Yeah, a whole bunch of things.

And they're even doing

I know in medical advances,they're even doing in-vitro surgeries now.yeah.

So that that's actuallythe next thing is fertility treatments.

It's crazyhow far advanced that that has come.

I mean,it says then basic fertility treatmentslike IVF were available, but less refined.

So now advanced reproductive technologies,including improved

IVF techniques, eggfreezing and genetic screening of embryos.


So they can screen your.that is Atika.my goodness.is that name of that movie Attica?

I don't know that one.

It's the one where it was all about.

Or Gattaca. Maybe she's got. Gattaca.

Yeah, I thinkwas Gattaca, where they didall the reproductive screening.

And, you know, they hadthey produced the babiesfor you in the lab with the best genetics.

Yeah. Yeah.

And then if you weren't createdin the lab, you were called a love babyand it waswho knows what you're going to get, right?that's so funny.

So we're going to have to watch that moviethis weekend.

Yeah, I know that.

That is a it's a thing that I knowsome people that havethey've had childrenwith very severe genetic birth defects.

They go through the genetic screeningso that, you know.

So yeah. So it's crazy.

I mean that yeah, that was not a thingback when we were having babies.

Like so the technology there is come.

That's what's been kindof All right, what about,what about giving birth.

What's the deal there?

And you found out somethinginteresting on this one.


So then 20 years ago,there was more routine use of episiotomy,less emphasis on natural birth,and one in 20 births were a C-section.

What does that mean?

Natural birth for brain dead menthat don't know.

I'm I mean, for the most part,a natural birth means not usingdrugs and medication.

I think it might be. Like an epidural.

Yeah, no epidural.

I think a natural birth.

I think if you have some there'ssome mild medicines they can give you that

I think are still considered natural birthto just help to help take the edge offyour pain.

But yeah no epiduralnothing that strong.

So yeah now when you first when you firstasked Chad's CBT for this information,it gave you an error,it gave you some misinformation here.

It saidactually that C-sections were more commonthen than now, and that is a lie.

Chad GBG That is a lie.


So I don't know where you're getting thisinformation, but I you know, I was doublechecking a lot of this informationbefore I put this together.

And yeah, that is absolutely not true.

So now so there's greater emphasison natural and personalized birth plans.

That is that is quite the thing. Now,midwifery and do Lesand increase optionsfor pain management and labor support.

Yeah I don't even know what these wordsmean.

And one in five births are C-sectionnow. Wow.

And when I looked up, why?

Because when it was onein 20 births, you only had a C-sectionthat's why you had a C-section orif you had hadwell, I don't need to go anyway.

So it was it was forit was for definite medical reasonswhy you were having a C-section.

That is not the case today.

Some people do.

They're afraidto have a traditional birth.

They're afraid.

And so it's more of a choicethan a medical decision as well.

Yes, there are many, many, many doctorsthat will opt to give you a C-section.

I guess insurances are payingfor a C-section.

You know what I mean? I guess so.

So that's. Really interesting.

It is.

And there used to be a lot of use offorceps and vacuums.

These are probably wordsthat a lot of peopledon't even know what those are today.

There was a lot of a lot of birth defectscaused by the use ofsome of the things that they used to use.

And so I think doctors are also in favor.

They would rather give you a C-sectionthan use forceps or a vacuum.

They would they would rather takethey would rather do.

That's the safer route,which is a C-section.

That's interestingbecause it's almost like a dichotomy,more natural and personalizedbirth plans. Yes.

Invasive surgery, evasive.

I. Is that the right word?

Yeah. Invasive surgery.

You're cutting someone open, right? Yeah.


So this is interesting, right? Meaning?


Yeah, it is interesting that it's like,you know, no drugs for meand I need my birth plan.

I need my music and I need my rollerthing for my back and I need Right.

They've got all these things,all the things and then it's like,and I also want a C-section.

That's really interestingbecause I remember when my first wifegave birth to two our kids,it was ice chips, and that was it.

My job was ice chips and Lamaze.

We took Lamaze class and ice shifts.

That was my job.

Do your breathing.

And usually ice. Chips. Yeah.

And I think that as far as food goes,

I think it is still just ice chips,because just in caseyou have to have emergency surgery,they don't want food in your system.

So I don't think that has changed.

You still dojust get ice chips as far as I know.

But yeah,almost everything else has changed.

It's kind of crazy.

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There you go.

Hey, let's move on.

Beyond medical into my favorite topic.

I was going to saythis is your topic right here.



Let's first talk about information access.

You have the same book

I had, What to expect when expecting.

What to expect when you're expecting. Yep.

Yep. That's that's the book that everyonein the eighties and nineties had was.

It was the Bible your pregnancy Bible.

Honestly, it was.

And because you couldn't findthere was the internetbut the internet was just full oftechnical documents backthen know nothing about verse or anything.

So you had to go to the libraryor you relied on good old mom.


Yeah. You.

You got advice from familyand friends, right?

You were like, Hey, you know,this is what what was your experience?

Share with me.

And but yeah, that book, I'm telling you,that book was amazing.

You know, you looked at,you know, one month to month, three monthand what's supposed to be happening.

And I love that book. I loved it.

Yeah. What did they do nowof now?

Well, I don't

I don't think they have that.

I mean, actually actually they still dohave that book.

But I don't know how often people buy itbecause you can access it online. So.

Right nowit's extensive online resources, right?


Well, there's even apps, there's parentingapps, right?

I yeah.

Jacob and Andy,who just had their first childsix months ago, he just turnedsix months old.

They had an app that Jacob would take of,say, my baby is now the size of a peanut,so my baby'snow the size of an avocado. Yep.

And the app saideverything that was going on.

Where what week are you at and all thisstuff and just constant information.

Well, and they even had an app for afterthe baby was born.

Every time they fed the baby,they put it in the app.

Like if Andy said every time the.

Baby peed too.

Every time they changed a diaper,they put it in an app.

So they just it's just you can really stayon top of things a lot more like

I mean, when I had babies, I was like,

I don't know how many days have beensince the baby pooped?

I mean, yesterday, I don't know too manyseeing our kids survive, right?

Like it's is amazing to me is amazing.

But yeah, I mean, it's just

I mean now they've got soyeah, the parenting apps,they've got telemedicine consultations.

How great is that Like your baby. Yeah.

How many how many times did our kidsget more sick after going to the doctor?


And now you can call the nurse hotlineor you can call your doctor's office.

I mean, great.

It's these are these are all good things.

Like, honestly, they are so.

But yeah.

All right.

Now more technologymonitoring and gadgets.

So what did you havewhen you've had your first.

We had a baby.

We had a baby monitor, not a video. Right?

It was just I think it's the same thingthat you probably had.

You had a baby monitor, right?

It's just a walkie talkie, basically.

Yeah, it was a walkie talkie. Yep.

And now they're smart baby monitorswith videoand health tracking featureslike your baby is.

You know, your baby's heart rateis this and your baby's breathing.

I mean, it's crazy.

Your baby woke up many times.

With one of ourkids. We had a breathing pad.


Because they they theywere having some issues with breathing.

So we put them on a breathing pad.

So we knew when they stopped breathingit would alarm us, which it never did.

So I think that's super.

I think we just paid a lot of moneyfor that.

I think that's what it was.

We just had to pay a lot of money.

Yeah, So yeah, but just.

Yeah, you don't even need a prescriptionfor that stuff.

You can just go to the baby storeand pick that stuff up. Now, right? Yeah.


Wearable devices for babies,smart nursery equipment, of course.

That also comes with the cons, right?

Well, I think what?

Wasn't there a thing where peoplewere hacking in to people's baby monitors?


What's another thing for a minute. Yes.

It was a thing for a minute. Yeah.that's so funny.

I mean. But also what's.

What's the downsideto monitoring your baby 100% of the time?

I think there is a big downside.

I think what I think makes you a moreanxious parent, that is my opinion.

That is not any kind of medical jargon.

That is my opinionthat when you are constantly.

But I think it also makes parentsfeel better, like, well, I know thatmy child's breathing in normal way, but

I also think it makes you a little morehyper focused on it.

I don't know.

I could be totally wrong, but.

I can see the benefit for kidsthat are sick.absolutely.

That parents that are sick.

We were before that equipment was extreme.

Li Expensive. Yeah. No. Yeah.

I mean, I'm talking about forjust a normal,just normal child that you have at home.

It's, you know.

Does it make parents become morehypochondriac by proxy.


Like you're, you're, you're just,you're starting offas a helicopter parent from day one.

I don't know.

I don't know because we don't know.

We don't have a child right now.

So it's interesting.

Like I said, that's just my opinionthat it would just make you a little more.

Well, I even saw the differencebetween me as a parentcompared to my parents as parents.my child has a fever.no, I need to go to the doctor.

And my mom would be like, Why?

Why not give her a fever?

Just give them baby Tylenol.

Or back then, yeah, we got baby aspirin.


Which now calls it causes Crohn's diseaseor something like that.

I remember. It was amazing.

We survived.

It is.

I remember like buying when.

Yeah, when my my oldest kids were little.

They just had come out with thatthermometer.

The straight ahead.

Yeah. No, not this trip.

It was just like not the shrimp.

It was just likeit was the handheld electronic thing.

And you just put it you use like wentacross their head, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I remember telling my mom,

I think that for one of the baby,my baby showers, I'd ask for that, like,

I want theand my mom, I remember my mom going, Why?

Like you put your hand on their foreheadand you feelif they're hot, like, I mean she was,she was just like, that's interesting.

And I was just like,

You have to know itdown to the 10th of the degreeof what our kids temperatures were. Yes.

And she was just like, right.

We didn't have a thermometerlike we felt you you're hot.

But I mean, I never went to the doctor.

I mean, I'm sure I did,but I mean, I remember when I was,you know, a little kid to teenager,like if we were sick,she's just like, yeah, you'll get better.

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Societal and cultural changes.

Okay, So let's talk for aminute about parental leave.

There was no parental leave when I think.

It's funnythat you even call it parental leavebecause there was nothingcalled parental leave. No.

So then it was called maternity leave.

Yes. And then there was nowhat's it called?

Paternity. Right.

There was no paternity.

Leave or bonding.

I think the proper term is bonding leave.


So, yes, with my first child,

I believe that my husband took offone day,the day I was in the hospital,and then he came tothe hospital, brought me homethe next day, and then he went to work.

And I think with our second child,he took off one day.

And in thatone day that I was at the hospital,he actually leftto go to work and came backand then.

Yeah, and then.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay.

I did a little bit better on my first one.

I was still in college.


And school started three daysafter he was born,but I was working.

So yeah, I did take

I did take two days off.


And, and I took off because mymy mother in law was there helping us.

And I said, if my mother in law's there,

I'm going to work or school.


It's when she's gone then

I need to be home more because there's nolonger help, you know, on that first childand then my dad.

This one's funny about my dad.

My dad is a dentist,and I was born at an Air Force base,which my dad worked atthe Air Force Base Hospital,and hewasn't even in there for my delivery.

I don't. My dad wasn't in.

My dad wasn't in the roomfor any of our deliveries.

Well, back backthen, fathers normally weren't in that.

But my dad was a doctor.

He could have been there. Right.

But he chose.

Why would I want to be there?

My mom said so.

I'm. I'mthe I'm the caboose in our family.

Right. Like there's a seven year age gap.

So with the first three menwere not allowed in the roomwhen by the time she had me,he could have been in the roomand he was like, Heck no.

And she did not wantshe didn't want him in the room.

She was like, No, thank you so isn't thatit's it's it's come a long way.

So would you have wanted me in the room?sure, of course.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah. My, my first.

So when he was in the roomwith all the babies.

Yeah, I was in the room with all mine.

But would you.

What about changing that even stronger?

Do you not only want me in the room,do you demand me to be in the room?

If I said I really don't want to be aroundthat, would that make you sad?

I guess Is the right word a sad?

I'd be like tough cookies.

I don't really want to give birth eitherand see all this stufftoo, but not for you. Get in here.


No, I wouldn't be sad.

I would be like,

Yeah, get your butt in here.

So that really hasn't changed withnow I'm.

It's Fathers are in the room now.

I guessone thing that's changedis the natural birth fathersare there for naturalbirths, like in the homewhich and they're in there actuallyhelping with the birth.

I don't know that I could do that. Yeah.

That'd be hard for me.

But yeah.

So let's get back to parental leave.

Okay. Parental leave. Sorry. Okay.

We talked about how there was no parentalleave when we had our kids.

The most the most.

My first husband ever stayed home was one.

And a half days. That was it.

That was the longest. That was. Yeah.

The question to your bossis, are you sick?

Do you have vacation leave?


Yeah, because my husbandhad two weeks vacation for the whole year.

They didn't care that I was having a baby.

They didn't care. So.

And that wasn't just his work.

That was just the way it was.

That was just the way it was.

So that's it.

But now it's mandated in state by state.

But there's also some federal guidelines,too, right?

I think so.

I know that like Jacob,

I think he did he get 12 weeks.

Bonding leave, Bonding leave.

And I think he took nine or ten of it.

And that's just crazy.

We were talking about this just recently.

It's hardfor us to wrap our head around it. How?

But it's

I think I think it's a good thing, likehow involved dads are.

Like I that just is crazy to meto think that my husbandwould have been home for two monthslike that would have been life changing.

That would have been very different. Very,very different.

And I think I would have really enjoyedhaving the help and theand the companionshipof learning this new territory.

Well, in some countries like Canada,you remember the familywe talked to on on one of our tripsfrom Canada?


She was just finishing up her one year.

One year. Leave. Yes.

One wherewe know in the state of Utah with Rachel,she got six weeks, six terms.

It is still six weeks.

Yeah, it is.

Unless your company offers more.

The state guideline in Utah is six weeks,which I think is wrong.

I do.

I think that for a mother,

I mean, that's notthey don't even guarantee bondingleave for fathers.


I think that that asking a momto leave their babyat six weeks is too hard.

And I.

I don't think that's right.

So that's my my opinion.

Okay. So okay.

The next thing is work life balance.

So so then right thenmore traditional roleswith often one parent staying at home.

Right? So, you know, getting right.


With you and your first wife,she was a stay at home mom.

You you were the provider. Same with me.

I would stay homeeven though I always had a side gigbecause we were always kindof financially strapped.

So I always had a side gig, but I was.

Flexible side gig, right?

So you could be there for your kidsevery day?

Yeah. You the primary caregiver?

I was the primary caregiver, absolutely.

In fact, I've talked about whatthis should be with you beforemy husband worked at out,he was managing water parks.

And so from March till October,he worked 6 hours, at least six daysa week, a lot of time, seven days a week,because that was the busy season.

That's when he worked.

And so when he after that,when October would come andhe would often be homemore a normal amount,he would be home at 5:00 every day,and he was home on the weekends.

It was hard to adjust to himbeing at home.

I was like, I'm I'm running the show hereand you're kind of cramping my style.

Like Jeremy.

It was always an adjustmentwhen he started coming back around.

I bet that's true.

Now that is completely changed.

COVID really did a number on this one.right?

Because people are used to nowworking at home.

You work from your kitchen table,flexible hours.

I've got to take my kid to the doctor.

You don't even ask for time off.

Employers are more used tojuggling, you know, nontraditional days.

But we're starting to see somethinginteresting happening,especially in high tech,which has been known for remote work.

We're starting to see themask people to come back into the office.

Yes. When was COVID was?

So four years ago. And so now.

Yeah, now you and Jacob have bothbeen asked to come back into the office?

Yep, that's right.

And it's not just us.

I have other friends in other industriestoo, that are now.

Yeah, Yeah.

If I don't see you, you're not working.

Which I think is ridiculous,but that's a whole nother.

But it's interesting.

We have a lot of friends and.

And our son Jacob, who have babies,and they are.

I mean, it is just crazyhow much more involvedthey are in the parenting process.

And I think it's kind of great.

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Tips and. Tricks. There you go.

Lifestyle and parenting trends.

Let's just go over this real quick.

So parenting styles,then more authoritative and traditionalparenting styles, you might have even hadspanking that what you would definitely becanceled today if there was spanking.

Now emphasis on gentle parenting,attachment parenting than positivediscipline.sweetie, to put Mommy'sphone in the toilet, that's not good.

Come on, honey. Is that.

Do you think that's a good idea?

No, it's not.

You can't use it. Negative, honey.

You get. True. That's true.

That is definitely not me.

It's still not me.

And I was never a mean parent.

But I am definitely a disciplinarian.

Like, don't do that.

Don't do that.

It's funny because this is.

This is cycled several timesthe way parenting goes on, wheresoft parenting, more traditionalparenting back to soft parenting.

This has cycled a couple of times,as we've read, right?

Yep, you're right.

You're right. So. Okay.

And then health and safety.

So then basic safety guidelinesand fewer regulations.

True story now.

Stringent safety standardsfor baby products, awareness of safety,sleep practicesand more focus on mental health.

I mean, it is funnyhow now like car seats.

I mean, when you and I were kids,we didn't have car seats.

No, we didn't.

US you couldn't even car seats.

Were our moms or dads armholding us against the seat?

That was our car seat.

Yeah, that's. Right.

And when we had kids, we had car seats,which we all had car seats.

But now car seats are literallythe standards are changed.

Like every two years.

Like you're supposed to get rid ofyour car seats every couple of yearsbecause they're now outdatedwith safety guidelines.

I guess it's.

Very much sounds like an industrydriving legislation for me.

Let's talk to Graco.

Come on. Great.

What a great kid's got great lobbyists.

That's what is.

Yeah, but yes,but I agree with all of that.

This safety and the awarenessis all intense and better, I guess.

So it's keeping yourbaby safe. But once again,is itraising are you are you hyper focused?

Are you raising wimpy kids? I don't know.

I don't know.

You know, I don't know.

Yeah, I think there's there's this balancethat we have to find, But it's interestingto see the differences.

It is all right in the last one,financial and economic factorsso costs of raising a child.

So then lower overall cost but fewerresources to manage expenses.


Because usually typically back then,one more often one parent was working.

It was a typically one parent household.

Yeah, one income.

Now higher cost associated with childcare, education and health care,but more financial planning toolsand resources and more.

Now more.

Both parents are working out of the home.

Well, that's interestingbecause the two are related.

Yeah, for. Sure.

Both parents are working outside the home.

Then you need additionalcare tocome intothe house, which increases your costs.


Which is your total costof everything. Yes.

And if more people need the care,then the cost is going to go up.

Right. Supply and demand. So, yeah.

It's interesting how it plays.

I'm starting to see a trendnow of people moving to single incomewhere they were double income.

They're like,

I need to be more with my kid.

Especially these peopleare having to go back to work, sothey're finding ways to make it workwith single income.

Well, yeah, and people I thinka lot of people are finding remote jobs.

There's that is the onegood thing that came out of COVID.

There are so many remote jobsnow that you can be more flexiblewith your work schedule.

So maybe you are working full time,but it's remotelyand you can work a few hours hereand a few hours there.

Like it's great for for parentsit's great.

All right.

So there's there's some really good,interesting trends seeing this.



All right, cool. So overall,what do you think, honey?

But is it better now to be a parent nowor worse or just different?

I, I feel like it's different.

Like, I don't look back on our raisingour kids and go, man,we really we really thought that or.


Or, orhow much would our kids be healthieror smarter or saferif we would have had these things?

I don't know.

They all we've raised great kids.

They're all happy,well-adjusted, amazing kids.

And we didn't have all these things.

So I don't know, you know what I mean?


I wonder what our kids

I wonder what our kids would say.

Would they if we saidif you had to raise your child today, likewith the technologyand the societal, cultural things,all the things we talked about,if you had to raise themthe same way, I had to raise you,would you prefer thator would you prefer all the technologyand all the changes that you have today?you know, the one thing that I wish

I would have had somethingthat Rachel had with I think her last twowas the formula maker.

That's like a coffee maker,but it's a formula maker.my gosh.

That thing was amazing.

You put the formula in there, and thenwhen you're in the middle of the night,whenever and you're holding the baby,you just put your bottle in there,push a button,it comes out the right temperature.

Hallelujah to the right temperature.

The right temperature iswhatever temperature you give them. Right?

That's how it was with our kids over.

The last two. Years.

If you're still hanging in therewith us onthis episode, you've gotten this fargo to Where's Lemony?

Don't work.

Send us a little messageor send your candy.

A real video.

Candy. Yeah.

All right.

Our lemonade moment of the weekhas to do with our youngest, David.

He is.

He's gone for nine days,and we very much miss him, But he's.

He's trying something new.

He's trying something really hard.

I'm really proud of him,but I'm also scared.

It is.

He's. He's trying out.

He's already made it.

He's being trained, going throughboot camp for California State lifeguard.

So for all those people that know

Baywatch, that's what it is.

My people, it's he's he's going to be I'ma Baywatch, babe.

That's my son. Baywatch, babe. David.

That's right.

That's right. no, he.

If he's going to be a Baywatch babe,then he's got to stop cutting his own hairwith scissors that he bought at WinCobecause.

Yes, the second day he was there he goes.

They have really strictgrooming standards.

And my hair, when you comb,he has really curly hair.

And when you comb it, it can't be.

Past his eyebrows.

Or his eyebrowsbecause if you're in the watertrying to save somebody and your eye,you know, your hair's in your eyes.

So he went and bought scissorsand just like, cut.

No, no.

So he's got to get a better haircutif he wants to live it.

All right.

But that's not the lemons.

The lemons isis that we're very nervous for him.

This is a tough tryout that he has to dophysical swimming.

He's got to run.

He's got coursework that he has to do.

So there's all this really tough stuffthat he has to do.

And I'm anxiouslywaiting by the phone for call every daylike, well, you guys need to come home.

Yeah, you got a call yesterdayand you were super nervous thinking, no.

And he called to tell youthat he passed the swim.

There's certain certain,you know, things he has to do physicallyin a certain amount of time.

And and so, yeah, I know you were.

I was. At that call.

So that was the lemonade.

I was like, no, a call from David.and yeah, he made it.

I was so proud of him.

So lemonadethat our son is growing our baby.

He's our baby.

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Go outand make some lemonade. You bet, baby.